At-ti-TUDE!

Attitude...ugh! 

What even is it and why is it so worth writing about? Attitude is a feeling or perspective reinforced by belief expressed by behavior. Simply stated: 

Attitude is the single most important factor in whether you will fail or succeed! 

I have frequently told people that there truly is some good in every bad thing that happens - I believe that! Depending on who I am speaking to I either get looked at like an evil terrorist or I hear "yeah right!" Very rarely do people agree with me...agree or disagree, I will tell you that your response is a reflection of your attitude!

Attitude is a choice and determines the outcome of your life. 

I once read a study done by The Stanford Research Institute that demonstrated that the money you make in your career (regardless of what that career is) is determined by two things: knowledge and ability to work with people. Knowledge only accounts to 12.5% of that success, 87.5% is your ability to deal with people!! (Remember: people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care!) What does this have to do with attitude? Your attitude will determine your relationship with people! Teddy Roosevelt said "the most important single ingredient to the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people." 

Choosing to have a bad attitude makes you POWERLESS! 

Not to mention that you lose friends and piss people off!

When your attitude places other someone else before yourself your results are ten fold. I think its safe to conclude that no promotion or success ever gave someone a great attitude, yet a great attitude surely has given someone promotions and/or success!!!

You woke up today! You are a beautiful person! You have shoes on your feet and a bed to sleep in! Smile a bit and think something positive would ya? 

View the world as a happy place full of opportunities and possibilities and that is exactly what you will get!! 

YOU CHOSE YOUR OUTCOME!

Ditch the safe zone, get gRoWing!

Naturally we as human beings like the "safe zone." There is something comforting and soothing about nothing changing and always knowing what you're going to get....even the adventurous people and risk takers in your life like the "safe zone" sometimes because, well, it's just easier to play it safe! However, each time you step away from this "safe/comfort zone" you improve! You learn, you grow, and you get a little bit better, EVERY TIME! While things are difficult and scary at first, it is ALWAYS worth the adventure. I promise!

Think about it...think back in your life to the most amazing and meaningful events that have occurred...examine these events....what happened? what were you doing before "it" happened? what we were you doing after "it" happened...what did you have to do in order for "it" to happen? Ask yourself these questions and think about it..............are you realizing that you had to step out of your comfort zone to achieve the end result?  Maybe you didn't have to take a drastic leap but I can bet that somewhere along the way, in order to get what you got, you had to step out of your comfort zone!

*drawn to scale ;)

Here is an example, in college, I was an All America, nationally ranked, soccer player. This didn't just happen over night....obviously...it took years and years of practice. Every practice I had to physically push myself beyond the limit that I arbitrary set for myself...I had to CONSTANTLY push myself into a new level that I have never experienced before.  How did I do it? I believed that I could - when my legs felt like jello and I thought I was going to faint I knew that if I told myself I could do it my legs wouldn't just stop working and my heart wouldn't just quit....over and over again, I told myself that I could do it and that it would be worth every bit of pain, ache, and tear that came with it! I did it...it happened...and it was a HUGE, HUGE, accomplishment.

Here is another example - when I opened up a real estate firm in NC with my partner (at the time), I had to consistently do things that made me uncomfortable....things that I easily could have said "I will sit this one out..." I had to introduce myself to strangers, I had to walk into a room full of successful and smart competitors with the confidence to know that I had something to bring to the table, I had to speak to groups of people about subjects I really didn't know a whole lot about...it was difficult, uncomfortable, and anxiety provoking but I did it...it happened...and it was worth it.

Think about 2012 and how your year has gone...how many times did something come up that you said "I'll sit this one out" or "not today?" Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn't have to be a life or death event. It could be something as little as introducing yourself to someone you don't know at a meeting or trying a new exercise class - surely you've heard the saying "a little bit goes a long way."  Taking on little adventures and challenges now will help you prepare for the big ones later!

If you want to be successful, in your personal life AND your professional life you NEED to step outside of your comfort zone (and frequently!)

Remember: luck has very little to do with success - success happens when preparation meets opportunity!

Whatever you do between today and tomorrow, do something you wouldn't normally do that pushes you outside of your comfort zone.  We live in a world of endless opportunity and happiness, ask me to prove it if you don't believe me ;),  put yourself in the path of the inevitable by stepping out of your comfort zone! <--There is no room for creativity or adventure there anyway!

"People don't care what you know until they know that you care!"

...by John C. Maxwell 

For a long time this has been one of my favorite quotes - IT IS JUST SO TRUE!

People truly don't care what you have to offer them until they know that you are sincere in your efforts! 

Building positive, effective relationships is truly the key to success. Think about it...without a positive relationship with your spouse chances are you will end up divorced! Without a positive relationship with your customers/clients you lose business.  Without a positive relationship with your children you lose control! 

Whether you agree or disagree, know that this is true: 

when your actions are fueled by personal gain you don't win! 

Think about the last person who tried to sell you something.  I can bet they gave up easily when you expressed your disinterested right?  Probably not! In fact, just when you said you were not interested they pressed on the gas a little more.  You said it again, maybe they mis-understood you, "I'm not interested," and they said "well why not? but how could you not be interested? Let me re-explain myself...." accelerator to the floor.  He/She kept pressing until you either hung up on them or walked away, right?  When you approach life with your personal gain in mind it is written all over your face and nobody wants to hear you out.  Maybe you will win 10% of the time, maybe, but I can promise you that when your choices are consistently centered around "me, me, me" your success is short lived! 

So what is the point? The point is to FOCUS ON THEM! "Them" could be your kids, your clients, your friends, or your co-workers, whoever it is...we need to remember that it really is not always about you!

When your relationship are "them-centric" the results and outcomes are 10-fold! 

Surely there comes a point where it is OK to be "all about me" but let that time be your reward - you will learn to appreciate the "me" more!  Get to know the people you are in relationships with first, then reap the rewards! Don't try to reap the rewards and then get to know someone - that's backwards :)  

If your intentions are pure and your actions are sincere, you will always succeed!  

"Look Ma! No Hands!"

As a Jersey Shore native and the fiancé of the most incredible and handsome man that I have ever met, (Derrick), I am happily living my dreams in Charleston, SC!  Little by little, day by day, I get closer to the goals I’ve set and the dreams I have imagined…life is truly incredible – if you chose for it to be! 

My parents always encouraged me to live my life to the fullest. My mother showed me how to fearlessly dream BIG and my father taught me that NOTHING stands in the way of me and those dreams (especially on the soccer field!). I've learned that everything truly does happen for a reason and being a little bit better today than I was yesterday is the driving force behind everything I do.

Inspired by a year of service with the AmeriCorps in North Charleston back in 2009, I continue to pursue my passion for helping people! I jokingly tell Derrick that I have "two helps" (my left hand and right hand) and every morning that I wake up I know there is someone could use those helps! It’s my purpose to find them!

You might not think of it this way often, but I believe that every person has a story and at the same time, I believe that every person has the opportunity to live a happy and healthy life.  Even the person with the worst childhood and the fewest role models has an opportunity to create a happy and healthy life. Whether they see the opportunity and chose to take it…well, life is all about choices and nothing worth having ever comes easy!

I am a certified Group Exercise Instructor, Nutrition Consultant, and NC and SC Realtor. I went to college at The College of NJ for Social Psychology and Criminal Justice. I was the mentor coordinator and interim director for the Lowcountry Civic Justice Corps (a re-entry program for male, non violent, ex offenders) and I am only just beginning! I've done a little bit of a lot and I am focused on allowing real estate fund my passion for helping people! By January 1st 2014 Derrick and I will have a Health and Wellness Facility here in Charleston, SC (stay tuned for that!) and by January 1st, 2018 I will have a 501(c)3 operating under our Wellness Center in support of ex-offenders re-entering the community. 

Derrick and I made a commitment to each other that together we will change the world. So that is what we will do, one person at a time...this is a small example of that commitment!